Friday, October 23, 2009
Check out the other blog...
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Fall Fun
Then on Friday we went rock climbing at the Quarry, which was a blast! We both really enjoy rock climbing (it's a Christmas miracle!). We'd actually love to invest in the gear eventually, and make it a fun hobby of ours. In the meantime though we'll just mooch off of other people that have gear, or use 2 for 1 passes to the rock gym :).
Monday, October 5, 2009
Thoughts and some more thoughts
However, do proceed with caution. First of all, this is pretty much... long (shocking, I know! I never have rants or monologues that go on for extended periods of time!). But it's really good, thought provoking stuff, I promise :). And you should probably plan on reading the whole thing if you plan on reading at all, because the following is a Kelsey opinion/take on a generally sensitive subject :).
So. As you may or may not know, my hubby Jord is serving in the bishopric of our ward, which is basically a group of men who are called to be responsible for the welfare of our church group. Interestingly, of all the leadership (including ward clerk, exec secretary etc.) we're the only couple that isn't either greeeeaaaat with child, or has a baby or two already. A few weeks ago, Jordan relayed to me (probably much to his initial regret ;), that during a meeting a member of leadership essentially gave a passionate testimony/speech about the importance of having children as soon as possible, how it is counseled by church leadership, and that we should all seek after the blessings of parenthood immediately. Important of note is that he essentially directed his eyes at Jordan the whole time (obviously the speech would really only apply to us, since everyone has subscribed to that general idea already). I was pretty vehemently irritated when he told me this, feeling like it was completely and totally inappropriate for a member of leadership to approach this personal topic in such a public way, with absolutely no effort to discuss with us our situation. Yep, I was not happy. Thankfully, my level-headed husband explained to me the context of the situation, that it wasn't meant condescendingly, etc etc. I can understand that there are righteous principles that this man testified about-- the blessings of parenthood, of having a family, etc. So after venting for awhile, I got over it, and was in fact able to learn some valuable lessons from the experience.
The gospel is true. No doubt about this in my mind. The church "culture," however, can often miss the mark I feel. One of these misses I feel can be the assumption that there is a mold in which every new couple ought to fit, and if they don't fit this mold for some reason, they must be doing something wrong. Not everyone in the church thinks this, but sometimes you get some vibes that some people do. Church leaders have made it incredibly clear that personal revelation is an essential component of the restored gospel, but unfortunately I think we sometimes forget this as a church culture. Although in the past there have been some statements (often referred to out of context) referring to the responsibility to bear as many children as quickly as possible, the current recommendation on these topics, given by our modern prophets, is that the sacred subject of families and how and when to begin them is personal between a couple and the Lord. As BYU President Samuelson said, "You also know that the scriptures and the prophets have not been explicit about things such as numbers [of children], timing and so forth. This is because not only are these things intensely personal in terms of decisions, they are absolutely unique in terms of our customized, individual circumstances." I feel completely comfortable with those couples that feel prompted to start families right after their marriage-- that is truly wonderful! Unfortunately people sometimes forget that this "normal" procedure may not be right for every couple, and wrongly assume this is the immediate responsibility of every couple, regardless of whether they may feel personally prompted to start a family or perhaps feel personally prompted to first finish their education, etc.
I just discovered this confirmation to my thoughts in a talk given by President Samuelson (the same one I quoted above) to women at BYU studying the maths and sciences, "I'm candidly nervous when I hear well-meaning people make extrapolations from the scriptures or from the statements of the prophets and then seem to feel authorized to tell the rest of us what the prophets really meant, had they only been wise enough to say it clearly. When anyone says more than the scriptures or the prophets have said on a particular doctrine, principle or practice, I consider them to be on dangerous ground." Well put, sir.
However, probably the most incredible thing I realized was while watching General Conference yesterday. Totally unrelated to anything in the talks I was listening to, I had a little gem drop into my mind. It's interesting to me that as a church "culture," women are often expected to step into the role of motherhood as soon as possible after marriage-- even at the expense of education, training, or other worthwhile endeavors. Like I said earlier, this certainly may be correct for some couples. However the interesting thing is the comparison of how we treat the husband's role. Unlike his wife, the husband is not expected to step immediately into his role as "provider." He could in fact do this, quitting school and getting an un-skilled job, however, it is universally accepted that by becoming educated he will be better able to fulfill his role, and is therefore encouraged to get as much education and training as possible. I wonder-- did it ever cross mormon "culture"'s mind that becoming well educated would enable the wife to better fulfill her role as wife and mother? I know, it's a crazy thought, but bear with me. During the time that Jordan and I were determining how we wanted to address the conflict of finishing school/starting a family, I took the time to read through the majority of talks from the last decade of General Relief Society Broadcasts. And in almost every single one of these meetings, the Prophet of the church would counsel the sisters to "get as much education as you can." No stipulations on being single or not, just the counsel to get as much education as possible. Surely, though the husband's education is invaluable and does provide for the physical needs and comforts of his family, the wife's education contributes equally if not more to the healthy and righteous raising of the family's children. Where the husband's education contributes largely to the physical sustenance of the family, a wonderful and commendable contribution (among other things, but that probably being the most obvious), the wife's education contributes largely to the delicate training and nurturing of her children's minds and hearts. This may, in fact, ultimately be the longer lasting impression of quality education. I feel confident that our Heavenly Father values the education of women, and that skills, talents, and education do not have to be sacrificed at the alter of motherhood. Motherhood and education can go hand in hand, and when the opportunity for a woman to gain a valuable education is taken, it will have the capacity to positively impact her family for ever.
Like I said before-- it's personal to every couple. It may not be the right choice for every couple to get PhDs together :). Each person's path is different. Often, people should start their families right away, and it is a blessing and it is right and good. But when a couple is prompted to seek after educational opportunities with the righteous desire of enhancing the training and growth of their family and their capacities to be instruments in the Lord's plan, this is a good thing. Education and righteous motherhood are not at odds with each other! Surely, they are a perfect complement. I've talked to so many girls that reflect on how their education-- be it high school, college, elementary school, or even learning to be literate in developing nation-- has improved the situation of their family and their capacity to be a wonderful mother. Although church culture may not yet acknowledge this, it does not make it untrue.
I hope no one is offended by this. It's hard to put into words impressions that sometimes come, but this is something that I feel so strongly about. We need to weed out any untruths and twisted versions of truth that may pervade our church culture, and seek after real truth, undaunted and untarnished truth, individual and personal to each of us.
Here's an awesome quote from Elder John K. Carmack (The executive director of the Perpetual Education Fund) who spoke at BYU law school last Wednesday:
"President Hinckley never made a distinction between men and women in establishing PEF as the educational program for young adults in less-advantaged countries. Now that he is gone we can learn several important things about President Monson’s feelings.
• Education is just as vital for women as for men in the Church.
• Education for women is not just a safeguard in case of divorce, death of a spouse, or lack of opportunity to marry, but is also important for fulfilling life’s purposes and the goals of improving our minds and skills." yes!!!
He even went on to say, "Education can help women fulfill their life’s roles, including rearing children, at the highest level of which they are capable.Women also gain fulfillment and satisfaction from improving their minds and skills. Education helps women achieve excellence in Church and community service." Couldn't have said it better myself.
Really, we have a variety of commandments to fulfill. Commandments to have a family, commandments to become well educated, commandments to be fruitful, etc. We have to find the personal balance of all these commandments, and find the best way to fulfill all requirements for ourselves. Surely, God meant for these various commandments to go hand in hand, and not be at variance with one another. Though they may seem to conflict, they are not meant to, and if I may be so bold as to quote my brother Nephi: "I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them" (1 Nephi 3:7).
If you're interested, here's the link to President Samuelson's talk: http://cpms.byu.edu/speeches/family-education-careers.
And the link to Elder Cormack's talk (which was excellent, really), a perfect complement to what I've talked about here.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Domestication
But I HAVE CREATED..... FIRE!!!!
hehe. Okay not really, but I did feel a bit like Tom Hanks creating fire in Castaway when I made this:
It's okay, you can be impressed! I sure was. In fact I was so impressed that even though I made this like a month ago, I decided to put it on my blog and brag about it. :) buon appetit!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Faith
"A traveler, hiking through the wilderness, comes to the edge of a canyon. Seeking a way to the other side, he discovers a big rope stretched over the canyon. As his eyes follow the rope toward the other side, he is surprised to see a man coming toward him, confidently pushing a wheelbarrow. Arriving on his side of the canyon, the traveler exclaims, “That was truly amazing!”
The man with the wheelbarrow asks, “Do you believe that I can do it again?”
“Oh, of course,” the traveler replies. “You walked across with such confidence.”
“Do you really believe I can do it again?” asks the man with the wheelbarrow.
“Definitely,” replies the traveler.
“Very good, then,” says the man with the wheelbarrow. “Hop in and I will take you across.”
Many of us look at God the same way we look at the man with the wheelbarrow. We say we have faith that God can do anything. Yet, when it comes time to get in the wheelbarrow, our faith begins to dwindle. Haven’t we seen enough of His promises to trust Him to carry us across? "
I loved this! I know that we can have more healing, more forgiveness, and more love in our lives than we ever thought possible, if only we truly embrace the promises of the Savior. He told us so many times to "Knock, and ye shall receive," and yet so many of us feel timid rather than confident in seeking after and asking for the righteous desires of our hearts. We had a lesson on faith this last Sunday, and one thing that really struck me was a quote from Elder Bruce R. McConkie that basically said that if you want more faith, you need to be more obedient. I've seen that that is the case in my life. Because I have made a bigger effort to keep my promises (particularly covenants), read my scriptures, and look for opportunities to serve those around me, I have been more confident in asking the Lord for the things I need. And I can truly say that he has not failed me yet. One example is the "miracle of TMJ." :) I call it that because we recently discovered that I have TMJ, an issue with my jaw that causes a great deal of pain. We looked into the costs of addressing it and they were, suffice it to say, way out of the budget. And I thought, why not exercise my faith? I'm studying the New Testament right now, I've been reading about the Savior's miracles. Surely, he can heal my jaw. So my husband and I fasted and prayed that my jaw could be healed, he gave me a priesthood blessing, and within about a week, the pain in my jaw subsided and my problem was healed!
This is just one miracle in my life that I have been blessed with, and I know that the Lord wants to bless me with more. He wants to bless all our lives, but so frequently his blessing are contingent on our faith in Him. Surely more miraculous than the healing of my jaw is the fact that when I'm distressed, troubled to tears and full of anxiety over my studies of the tragedies in the world, he heals my heart. And everything is okay because I know that in the end, He will make it all right. And even more miraculous than that is that at the end of every day, when I seek forgiveness for the mistakes I've made, He heals me from the ugliness of my trespasses, and I'm clean again. I know that he can heal all our sicknesses, all our pains, and all our trespasses. The capacity of his atonement is greater than we can imagine, and covers all our faults and pains. I'm so grateful for His blessings, and for the little glimpses of faith that I can see in art, in literature, in the scriptures, and in the lives around me.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
fun fun
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been a passenger on a motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Have been published
81. Visited the Redwoods
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Got a tattoo
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
All in a day's work-- for a mom!
Well, I have another school-inspired post for you. I just wish everyone in the world could take this class I'm in right now, it really is just mind-boggling. Part of our discussion today consisted of analyzing the work that is done by women, and the value that is assigned to it. By value I mean not only the perceived importance of it, but also its monetary place in our worldwide economy. I'll start by telling you a couple little diddys (spelling, anyone?) our professor shared with us:
1) If a woman decided to go work for another family and did all the housework and raising of the children, and then the mother of that family decided to go and clean and care for the household of the first lady, they would both be considered "productive" in the GDP. However if both those ladies decided to stay home and cook and clean and care for their own respective families, it's the same as if they had done nothing (economically, they produced nothing of value, made no income, etc.).
2) One of our classmates had a baby last week. Her OBGYN, who delivered the baby, was considered "productive" and assigned a value by our GDP. However the new mother, who carried the baby for 9 months, labored to deliver the baby for 26 hours, and brought a new little life into the world, did nothing!
Some pretty crazy thoughts, eh? Makes you consider how we value things in the world, even in America. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's necessary for something to have a monetary value stamped on it for it to actually have value, but unfortunately the world seems to look at it that way doesn't it? That leaves stay-at-home mothers and nurturers in a rough, defensive little spot. What do they do all day, anyway? (sarcasm ;)
Well here's a refreshing conclusion. Recent studies have concluded that the average cost of buying the services of a wife and mother, per year, would be about $109,000. WOW!!! That's some big dollars right there. So although "reproductive" work may not yet be considered "productive," by economic standards, you Mommas out there can sit back and know that your net worth is at least a pretty 6 figures. And that's without even talking about how valuable your work really is :). As for that, I think this just about sums it up:
and
“Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels.”
(The First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints)
If you want more on that "mom salary," it's all at: http://mom.salary.com.
And for more fun/interesting reading, there's this: NYT "The Economic Unit Called Supermom"
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Feminism
I've got to go work on my grundles of homework or I'd keep writing, but you can expect to hear more about this class, I'm sure!
Quote of the day:
Michelle Stott quoting Rebecca West: "I'm not sure what a feminist is, but I am called one every time I venture an opinion that distinguishes me from a doormat."
har har. and yet so true.
p.s. My professor gave a profound section of her first lecture on the varieties of feminism, and how although the LDS faith is certainly at complete odds with some of them (i.e. feminism to the extent that you must totally disconnect yourself from males and embrace only the virtues of femininity etc.), it is in perfect harmony and in fact one of the greatest supporters of true feminism, the kind that seeks after the equal treatment and respect of men and women. I certainly can agree with full confidence that this is the case :).
Thursday, August 27, 2009
I like to ride my bicycle... I like to ride my bike!!!
The only major glitch is that because Jord is so intense about his hobbies, and does them soooo extensively.... I would probably pass out or die if I tried to join him. And I could train, but frankly, I'd probably rather study for the GRE the rest of my life than do that. Lol. I'm just not a competitive person! So it's been interesting trying to find outdoorsy things that we can do together. And please don't get me wrong-- I do enjoy the outdoors! But as one of my good friends put it so well, there are two types of outdoors people: 1) The kind who like to be one with nature and enjoy it and 2) The kind that like to compete with nature, to explore and to conquer! This is a pretty good explanation of Jord and I's philosophies. I like camping as much as the next person, just not backpacking for a week in the mountains. Or I'd love to go romp around in the snow and sled and take a nice walk, but probably not snowshoe or hike in it for hours and hours. So. Back to the problem at hand: how to engage in and support Jordan's hobbies without wanting to kill myself? Answer: BIKING. Jordan recently has really gotten back into biking, and I thought, I can do that! At least, I could probably get into biking a liiiiittle more than casually, and meet him in the middle (i.e.: a 2-hour ride instead of 8 or something).
So. As luck would have it, when Jordan got his bike (which he actually was given as a gift from a family friend! Amazing right? It's a beautiful, well-used but very valuable road bike) UPS damaged it in the mail. Because it's carbon fiber, it's possible that the little dings it got compromised it's frame. So we received a large lump of insurance money to cover any potential costs of repair, but fortunately for us there doesn't appear to be any permanent damage! So we used some of that insurance money to buy me a new bike, to ride around with Jordan! We searched for a long time to find the right one and finally settled on a Gary Fisher "Simple City" 8-speed, which is a bit like a blend/hybrid between a road bike and a cruiser. Perfect. I want to be able to keep up with Jord, or at least try, but also have a comfortable bike that I can cruise around town with. And let me just say that I certainly have!!! It happened to be a bit more than we wanted to spend on it, so we decided to count it as a birthday/Christmas present for this year. That's okay though, cuz I probably just would've gone shopping more, and who really needs more clothes when you could have this beauty! Here she is:
The first day Jordan and I went on a beautiful 10-mile ride down the Provo River trail, reaching Utah Lake and then heading home! It was so fun to just get outside and be active together! I really enjoyed it. Since then, I've been to the grocery store (and filled up my basket with eggs, milk, ice cream, and the like-- so fun!), the library, my internship, school, rode around town dropping off fliers for my internship, and went on campus to buy our books! It's really been fun, and we get to enjoy each other and the community so much more than if we were at home watchin a movie! My conclusion: get a bike. It's super great.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
hmmm
Health Literacy Course
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Katie came to play!!!
So glad she's here to keep me company! :)
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Murals :)
There's some more, but I think you probably got the idea. Fun stuff! :)
Friday, July 17, 2009
Bridals Round 2!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Starvation Reservoir with the Perry Fam
Here's some pics from our great 3-day escapade up at Strawberry Reservoir with Jordan's fam last week!
Nora with her aunts Kelsey and Danika trying to keep her happy on the boat... (not so much success)
The happy crew :)
The next day we all went up to Sundance and wandered around for a bit. It was gorgeous up there and we had some fun! But I think that Nora and Blake had the most fun: